One day, you are swinging on the swings with your friends on the playground at school, then your cheering on the football field in middle school, then you get your drivers license and are driving yourself to school in your really large new/old car, then you go on your first date, then your moving into the dorm with your best friend, then your getting married to your college sweetheart, then your starting your first “real” job, then you find yourself in the hospital giving birth to your first child, then you do it 2 more times, then your dropping them off at their first day of school, then your son wants you to drop him at a friends house instead of the school. Don’t blink. Just the other day I was on that elementary school playground.
In less than 30 days, I”m ticking off another year. I’ve never been afraid of birthdays. Why would I be? I usually get more attention than normal, and hear from people I haven’t in awhile. I open presents, get the night off from cooking, and go to bed feeling loved. For some reason, the impending birthday this year, has me a little nervous. And I’m not going to be 40. I’m going to be 39. What is it with 39? I would think I would really be freaked out about 40, but I’m not. Its 39 I can’t quite stomach.
I feel like I’ve learned a lot from my 30’s. It has held the best years of my life, and its held the worst years of my life. I’ve learned I don’t need to apologize for who I am. I’ve learned I have a lot more strength on both the inside and the outside. I know what hard work yields. I know who are my friends and who aren’t. I’ve learned sometimes you have to let things go. I’ve learned your metabolism really does slow down as you get older. I’ve learned I really don’t like ice cream. I’ve learned being a mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and its the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I’ve learned you can’t kill a toyota camry.
So as this last year of my 30’s approaches, I’m going to be intentional about it. I’m going to make it the best. I’m going to buy more purses. I’m going to run harder and faster. I’m going to let the people I love know just how much. I’m going to drink coffee out of a cute mug every. single. day. Now I’m kind of excited about 39……